Thursday


When it’s time to let go



What is our greatest sin? That sin that you and I have been committing over the years, and yet not realising that it is even a sin? To not forgive one who is truly sorry. Parents, teachers, children, adults, teenagers, the elderly, the wronged, the victorious, the defeated ... the list is endless. As I look at it, there is no man who has not sinned this way.

Every religion teaches us to forgive. It is not buried within allegory or twisted words, but is wide open to anyone who is willing to accept. But with time, man began to twist and use these words for their own good. Wrong notions were passed on to the children, generation after generation, because man saw it right to bend the meaning of the words of guidance. The interpretations were wide and various, taught to many in various languages and distant lands. So humans began to argue over which was right.

And one thing a man's ego cannot stand is someone saying that he was wrong. People used their beliefs and faith to justify their actions. Over time humans became so sure of the idea that their actions were right because their values and their morals stood by them. God's word was lost in the thickness of our skulls.

I'm not saying what we believe in is entirely wrong. I'm saying what we believe is not entirely right either. Sometimes from great wrongs done to us, we learn the wrong lessons. Like when we were kind to somebody and that somebody turns on you, then we will believe that there is no good in the world. Sometimes we blame others, when we do not see that we were at fault. Sometimes we remain silent, when we see that someone you love is doing something wrong. Sometimes we don't follow the voice that guides us within. Our ideals are in conflict with each other. When you realise this, suddenly everything around you will seem like a lie. You will realise that you were lied to and hidden from the goodness of humanity. And this will drive you insane. Insane from the fact that only if everyone knew about this great truth the world would be a much better place. And you will start to see what others are doing wrong.

Then you will realise that on seeing these wrongdoings, you can't possibly take anymore. You must forgive them for what they are doing. But you don't know how.

Then after the heart will yearn, and the mist of confusion will clear, you will understand. Forgive yourself to forgive others. The proverb has been around for a while. But you never really knew. Every now and then you have this small flashback, of all the moments you let down yourself. All the setbacks you had in your life. These are the ones you must start with. Forgive yourselves for those actions. Otherwise it will keep haunting you till you die.

Let every injury that has happened to you go. Let everything that holds your weight underwater free. They will do no good inside the heart. It may take weeks, months, even years to single out every action that you hold yourself responsible for. Every action that your conscience has called out to stop, yet you did not hear because of the deafening roar of the moment of the action. Then you will finally be ready to forgive others. That is a never ending process.

Let not the angry fire that your beliefs stir up consume the voice of your conscience, first listen to it and calm yourself down. Then douse this fire with the idea that only by forgiving you can be at peace. "Forgive not because he deserves forgiveness, but because you deserve peace." Every day, someone is going to wrong you. Learn to let each one go, by looking back and saying that he doesn't know he is wrong. It is an action in which you must involve your past and your present.

If you are a teacher, do not hold anger for your children. Only love can induce love. Only forgiveness can make you love yourself. If you are a parent, realise that your children, are after all only children. They learn from your actions, but you must teach them to learn from your mistakes.

A wise man once told he was, "Looking not to what others have done to me, but what I have done to myself." That wise man was my grandfather. Unfortunately I was too young to understand what he meant when he was around. Now I will try to make his will mine. Are you ready to forgive yourself? If you are, then there couldn't be a better time. Let us remember in the spirit of this season of forgiveness and kindness how peace looks like once again.

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