Times of Oman
Nov 30, 2015 LAST UPDATED AT 03:57 PM GMT
How to deal with difficulties of life
July 17, 2014 | 12:00 AM
Saleh Al Shaibany

When do you say that you have suffered enough? When you are on your hospital bed with tubes sticking out all over your body? It is amazing how we keep silent on issues that hurt us. We stick to bad marriages and jealous relatives or even friends who do nothing but spread rumours. Perhaps the vision of being left alone with no one to talk to or the acceptance that it is part of life which make most of us tolerate it.

I don't think we should because life has a habit for waiting for no one, it just swishes by and the next minute you find yourself wishing you had stayed clear from bad elements. Doing nothing never solves a problem but rather compounds it. You must confront people to stop them trampling all over you. If they don't stop it, no matter who they are, just turn your back on them. It is never worth it.

When I was a boy, we used to remove things from a donkey cart that belonged to a local courier man. He never confronted us because he was afraid of making a scene. He just rode the cart until the whole thing collapsed after we had removed important parts like bearings, bolts and nuts. Then he went mad when he realised the tool of his trade was ruined by silly boys who had nothing to do in their spare time.

It is exactly the same thing when you let people tamper with the centre of your existence. Never afraid to create a scene if it means protecting yourself from cruel people bent to create havoc. Walking away quietly inspired them to do it again. It is wrong, anyway. It may prove fatal with your health in the long run. Actually, more than half of the hospital beds around the world are occupied by people who have been verbally abused over the years.

Words hurt more than a hot needle speared in your veins. My father died at the age of 86 with no major illnesses or complications in his life. Why am I saying this? Because I am convinced that his long and healthy life was contributed to the fact he was deaf. He was always around people and nodded his head, with a smile in his face, as if he understood what people were saying to each other.  Of course, he never heard a word. I am sure they were pretty harsh words which were said to him during his lifetime in those circles he attended. They never affected him. His disability, in certain huge ways, was his blessing. While we cannot switch off our ears, we can at least speak back to make sure they know we don't accept unsolicited remarks.  

Sometimes, though I am careful with my elaborations, it pays to be a trifle rude to make sure people wash their own linen before they criticise your washing line.  I know some people would simply cut themselves off from their social circles to prevent verbal abuses, ranging from cynical comments to quick passing statements about the way we lead our lives. Why should you restrict yourself from things that make you happy because of one or two individuals who should have been sorted out long time ago?  The need to stop the behaviour you will not tolerate does not take a lot of courage.

It is very simple.  Just try to have a private discussion with your tormentor. They would often defend themselves by saying, "can't you take a joke?" No, you don't take such jokes and nobody has the right to disguise malicious comments just to amuse themselves. In conclusion, you don't need such people in your life. And if they don't want to change. Just dump them. 

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